Bridezilla – when the bride wants to control her bachelorette party January 31, 2019 – Posted in: Bachelorette – Tags: , , ,

Can the bride take control of her bachelorette party?

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The short answer is: NO – and not even is she is a bridezilla! A bachelorette party is a celebration organized by the bride’s family and friends to delight and surprise her. However, some brides want to have a say in what happens at their own bachelorette party. Therefore, you might receive suggestions that resemble more like dictations.

Of course, it’s always okay for the bride to drop hints and express preferences. However, a bachelorette party should be seen as a gift from family and friends. Just like with any other gift, it’s never as fun to know exactly what you’re getting. The bride’s wishes should be respected so that the day becomes exactly what she wanted. But just as one cannot plan their own surprise birthday party, no one, not even a bridezilla, can plan their bachelorette party.

See also: The Big Bachelorette Party Quiz Show

It’s a bachelorette party – not a TV series

It can be very stressful to organize a bachelorette party when the bride has specific expectations that must be met for the party to be considered a success. Ultimately, very few people have much desire to be extras in other people’s dreams like, “Yes, and if you stand in the entrance, I’ll come out of the shower at 9:27 and be wildly surprised to see you…”

If the bride subsequently expresses disappointment over her bachelorette party and what you have arranged, it’s not okay. Unless, of course, you should have known better and planned activities that are far from the bride’s personality. Otherwise, part of a bachelorette party is that anything can happen, and the bride generally shouldn’t expect anything, only that she will be surprised.

Set a (loving) boundary for the bridezilla

If you want to accommodate the bride, set some boundaries on what she can control. Make it clear to her that this – and ONLY this – is what she can decide when it comes to her own bachelorette party.

If the bride tries to control her bachelorette party because she’s nervous about what you might come up with, it’s also a really good idea to align expectations with her.

What to do if the bride wants to control her bachelorette party

If the bride wants to dictate and plan which activities she wants to do and who can participate, talk to her about it before the actual day. Try to meet her halfway and let her express her wishes and opinions.

If your friendship means a lot to you, you may need to go out of your way to avoid arguments. Instead of telling her she’s wrong, explain how much it means to you to be able to surprise her. Tell her that you’ve got it under control and that you’re planning a bachelorette party that you sincerely hope will make her happy.

And try, in the most loving way, to make her understand that this is not how a bachelorette party works. At her own wedding, she (and hopefully with the groom) can plan everything down to the smallest detail, but the traditions surrounding a bachelorette party dictate that she should be surprised.


It’s just one day!

If one of you is particularly close to her, that person can also try to explain to her the huge pressure she’s putting on you all. But that you’re really trying your best to make her happy.

Maybe the bachelorette party won’t be the fun and relaxed day it could be, but sometimes you have to go along to maintain an otherwise good friendship. Try to make the best of the day and keep your friend in good spirits. If you can already see that the bachelorette party for the crazy bridezilla will just be hard work, then politely decline in advance with a good excuse. Bachelorette parties are a day of joy, and you’re not obligated to participate.

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